My First Entry

Fri, 28 Dec 2007 18:43:16 GMT

Dear Diary Friday 28/12/07

Well this is my first entry and at the moment I pretty much wanna talk about things which i think most people would talk about in their journal. That’s the story of my life really. Doing things which i think others would do in that situation. Sad really...anyone would think i don't have a mind of my own or any sort of personality. Deep down i know that isn't true. I know there's this amazing person inside me somewhere......

Im not a total outkast or anything but im not a really popular person either. In some ways id rather be a complete reject rather than just neutral. I HATE the fact that im neutral. Sometimes i often sit and wonder if anyone even really thinks about me. The answer is no. Its amazing how insignificant a person can actually feel.

I dont have ANY close friends. None. Zero. Don't get me wrong i do have friends...if you can call them that..their probably more along the lines of associates. I wish i had a close friend. Just One is all im asking for. I used to have that..we grew apart and since then ive never again had a really close friend. I dont know i often wonder why my life turned out this way. I often think that im the most unlucky person alive and that all the great experiences normal people have, have somehow passed me by. But really i know thats not the case. I know its something to do with me. I have a problem with letting people in...with showing people the real me. Im a liar. I lie to others about myself. I make up stories about my life so people won't think im a total loser. Infact these lies have probably made me even more seperated from everyone else. Because im scared that they will find out about all these lies i tell... so to protect myself i dont let anyone into my life.

I'm tempted to just spill my whole heart out on this page......but there is so much inside of me i wouldnt know where to start!

xxxx

innermeexposed

My First Entry